How Did You Survive Divorce – Real Tips That Helped Me


This week I received an important question on the @RunEatRepeat Instagram story box…

“What helped you get through / distract you from your divorce while training?”

Ugh. This makes me sad. I don’t wish heartbreak of any kind on anyone ever.

So I answered it in my IG stories – it’s saved in the Sept Q&A.

But I mentioned that I would do a quick post because I was naming a bunch of tools and tips that helped me survive. I’ll share that list below. [Also – I mentioned doing a ‘relationship timeline’ and said I’d explain it in a post. Well, that’s coming soon. I need to do a video or some kind of illustration to describe it.]

Things That Help Heal from Heartbreak

  1. Let it out. Talk to friends, God, a therapist, your dog, your friend’s dog, some guy at the gas station…
  2. Use Message or Video apps to connect with friends and family. I ‘talked’ to friends by leaving a lot of messages going on and on and on… via WhatsApp and Marco Polo. The beauty of this is – you leave the message when you need a friend, but they can listen or watch when they have time. This way you don’t feel guilty and avoid reaching out. And your friends don’t worry whether they should check on you or not bring it up or what.
  3. Pray. This should be first on the list but I’m just listing them as they pop in my head movies. I prayed a lot. It really helped. Visualize yourself handing over your heartbreak, worry or pain to God. Let Him take care of it and you take care of yourself.
  4. Ask for support. If you need help – ask. Everyone handles break-ups differently. Everyone wants different levels of communication. Your people care about you – but they don’t know you need them unless you communicate that. Last year I found out a friend was depressed and I had no idea. I act and cope very differently than she was so I didn’t realize. I feel really bad and wish I could have been a better friend. So… if you can let your people know you need to hang out, funny gifs, to come over, etc. tell them.
  5. Listen to bad Bltch music. See: Lizzo.
  6. Get a blow out and pedicure. Optional: Have an adult bev.
  7. Be a good friend. If you want to have good friends you have to be a good friend. It’s really helpful to get out of your head/world and talk with people about their lives. It’s good for you to think about other things outside of yourself. It’s good for your friends to know you care.

In Training… (The question asked how I handled it regarding training and I kinda went on a tangent with all the random tips. So to bring it back to answer the question…)

Do your best. Some days will be good! Some days will be hard. That’s okay. You’re going through a sad season of life. Yeah, it may affect your training – but be kind to yourself above all else. Keep showing up. Do your best with where you are at physically and emotionally that day. Keep going keep going keep going.

Related to training: Going through a loss like divorce, death or other trauma is hard. There isn’t one perfect way to process it, heal and move forward.

I had a hard time sleeping for months – maybe a year. I didn’t want to cook so I was mostly just eating snacks. I probably snacked through breakfast and lunch and mid-afternoon would finally have a meal.

I’m saying this because – sleep and nutrition are important for your health. They are also very important if you are trying to train for a race. If you ask your body to do athletic things – you must treat it like an athlete with proper care, rest, fuel, hydration, etc.

If your training is being hindered by life’s ups or downs – you have to make sure you’re doing the basics to keep yourself healthy…

Must Do List:

  • Eat balanced meals.
  • Get enough sleep / rest.
  • Be kind to yourself.

More posts on divorce and break-ups:

Dogs, Divorce and Dying Podcast 70 – – I don’t even remember what I said in this podcast! It’s probably embarrassing. But if I had to go through a bunch of stuff, it makes me feel a little better to think that maybe I can help someone else get through it too.

On Being Strong When You Are Weak – blog post

That Time I Had a Night Terror – okay this isn’t about my divorce… but I clicked it on accident and it does have Ben in it. It’s about the time I had a night terror and I totally remember it and joke about it on occasion but I forgot that it scared Vegas too. Ha! But really not funny at the time. Now it is though!

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